I pushed myself out the door this morning for a much, much-needed run –to shake off the cobwebs, flip the bird to my winter cellulite, and shift my dark and brooding mood. Because, man-oh-man, my thoughts have been bleak lately –to the point where my friend told me she needed to read my last blog installation at just the right time of day (i.e. not before work and clients when good spirits were required). Okay, I get it. I’ve been preoccupied with death and the passage of time, not to mention the shit-storm going on in Washington and around the globe. In my angst, I seemed to have flipped life itself onto its back and taken a stick to its ugly underbelly, poking at it over and over, seeing if it would squirm, trying to get a response. Yeah, it’s been dark.
But then I went for a run. I put my jam on a loop –a groovy, romantic tune by Honne– and stepped into the street. My shoulders dropped, a smile spread across my face, and you know what I realized: it’s December 10th. Our house is decorated for Christmas, the school semester ends in a week, and, most important, MOST IMPORTANT . . . the light is coming back. In eleven pipers piping days, here in the Northern Hemisphere, we will experience the longest night of the year. We will reach our furthest point of distance from the sun, and our maximum capacity for darkness. And though the winter solstice, this boundary of gloom, is still a short distance away, I feel the momentum of night weakening, like the perceived slowing of the planets in retrograde just before they stop and move forward. Nature, beautiful nature, is about to remind us that darkness cannot persist indefinitely; light will return.
So, I give thanks for these months of waning days that have instigated so much reflection, so many feelings. Because without them, I would take the light for granted. Without them, I would fail to reach my own point of saturation, causing me to stop and change direction in search of the light. I would forget that in the light lies truth, hope, and our ultimate life force.
Happy holidays to everyone, and may we all appreciate and pursue the light.
